Breakfast with Joan
We arrived at a game lodge in Uganda expecting a few days of rest, only to find ourselves battling food poisoning, outwitting an elephant named Joan, and discovering that wildlife encounters are often best enjoyed from a safe distance.
Sometimes the most memorable travel experiences happen when you're feeling your worst. We arrived at Engiri Game Lodge in Uganda looking forward to a couple of quiet days. Instead, I spent much of my time recovering from food poisoning while Richard busied himself trying to attract a resident elephant named Joan with a strategically placed bunch of bananas.
The plan didn't quite unfold as expected.
The staff explained that one of the older elephants, Joan, was well known around the camp. She wandered through most nights, feeding on the sweet grass between the tents and occasionally appearing near the kitchen in the hope of bananas.
Richard immediately decided this sounded like an opportunity.
He strung a bunch of bananas from the roof of our little veranda and set up his camp stretcher nearby, determined to catch a glimpse of Joan if she passed through during the night. Sometime later, he spotted her in the distance – an immense shadow moving silently between the trees and lodge buildings, her size dwarfing everything around her.
The bananas came down very quickly after that and Richard retreated to the tent, suddenly less enthusiastic about a close encounter with an elephant of that size.
...
Joan stood just outside the main doorway, her trunk stretching patiently into the small kitchen space while the staff fed her bananas one at a time as though this were the most ordinary arrangement in the world.
One of the staff handed me a small bunch of bananas.
At first, I hesitated. It was impossible not to be aware of her strength. Yet Joan remained calm and patient as I awkwardly offered her the bananas one by one, slowly learning how to hold them so she could curl the end of her trunk around them and guide them into her mouth.
Excerpt from : The Accidental Motorcyclist, 2026
Of all the breakfasts we had on the road, this was certainly the most memorable.
When a 5,000kg elephant wants breakfast and won’t leave the kitchen until she gets a banana (or ten), you don’t really have many options…
Basically just hanging around the camp like a BIG dog. Friendly enough but don’t mess with her!
